What I learned In Real Life.
it’s possible.
Texts from my Mom.
My favorite comedic venture of Travis Helwig is him talking with his Mom.
“Not nice no money for you”
3-way!
(Source: fuckyeahlatenighthosts, via comedycentral)
Casey Anthony’s got a new computer and decided to do a video diary to celebrate.
“I’m extremely excited…that I finally have something I can call mine. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to call something mine”
Then she goes on to talk about her new dog:
“…who I’ve adopted and I love and he’s as much my dog as any of the other pets I’ve had”
Someone save that dog.
“We have this fear of “pressuring” a guy. God forbid you ask to know where the relationship stands, God forbid you make him commit to you. Let me tell you something, there are PLENTY of guys out there who would love to commit to you. And they are what we call men. Grown ass…
So the moral of the story is: own the penis.
(Source: hellogiggles.com)
a short film brought to you by salvador dali and walt disney. you may trip balls no matter your level of sobriety.
you’re welcome.
Last day of work today.
Took all the free shit I could find.
Last week I saw an ad for “Cuddl Duds”. Much like lululemon, Cuddl Duds makes fantastically comfy leggings, shirts, pants, hoodies, and onesies formfitting enough for you to be taken seriously leaving the house. The days of feeling lazy for wearing sweatpants and cut off t-shirts to work are over. Now you can walk into any occasion feeling just as fab and cozy as a 45 year old first-time mom who “doesn’t have time to take of myself, especially since we hired the full time nanny. Ugh I’m just so stressed out. Can you be fat AND vegan? no, right?” Wahoo! Now let the fun begin. Outfit Assemble Time!
That’s the real santa.
call.
Thought you had to choose between blacking out and saving lives?
Not anymore!
Thanks Usher!!!!!!
Dicaprio, Pitt, Clooney, go blow yourselves.
Guys like these are fucking sexy.
GPOY hurr did.
